Just say 3 times, breakup, breakup, breakup. Hmm, but that may not work in certain communities.
Telling your partner you are gay or that you have AIDS may help, but we are pondering here over more commonplace easier ways to a quick break up.
Nowadays affairs go from hook-ups to break-ups at the speed of an Olympic 100m swimming race, if not a running race. How do these youngsters manage to achieve this feat, thought as impossible a few decades ago. I put a piece together from the millions of minutes of testimonials I had to endure (entertaining none the less); listening to distraught youngsters whose worlds came crashing down on them (or so they believed) with a breakup.
To race to a quick breakup, one simply has to reverse what Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankarji says aboutkeeping a relationship alive-and-exciting and with minimal friction (scientifically speaking, you cannot achieve zero-friction between 2 objects).
Here are some pointers:
Base your love life only on physical attraction: Rules of attraction is that attraction dies down. With time, as you possess beauty, the attraction becomes common place and eventually wanes off. Though not the fastest, it is the surest way. Live examples are a plenty around us – Prince Charles and Princess Diana and a countless many Bollywood and Hollywood actors and actresses, models and celebrities.
Base your love life on emotional need and on feelings: Problem is, feelings change. What the human mind feels good about now, may feel lousy about the same thing or person some other time. When the mind has decided to love someone, whatever they do seems cute and adorable. But when we decide otherwise, we see mal-intention behind even the most benign things they may do. Feelings change from, I cant stay without you, to I cant stand you anymore. From I cant stop thinking about you, to I cant stop thinking nasty about you… Keep feelings your relationship-manager and how see how quickly the swinging of your moods will snap the delicate bond of togetherness.
Make sure you don’t learn a spiritual technique (like Sudarshan Kriya or Padmasadhana or Sahaj Samadhi Meditation) or by mistake if you have learnt it, then make sure you don’t practice it. Because stress has this thing about it. When stress builds up (and modern life blesses us with a million avenues for it), it manifests in our feelings and words and actions (obviously in the wrong way) helping increase the bitterness and the distance.
If you have not had a Spiritual upbringing or a Spiritual knowledge base (working knowledge of the human mind), then sensitivity, a sense of sacrifice and the fundamental attitude of unconditional love will go out of the window. Besides, your anxieties and insecurities and doubts will manifest as complaints and blames furthering the desired cause; the break-up. So all in all, if you want to master the Art of Leaving your loved ones, stay far away from the Art of Living knowledge or techniques.
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| WHY be HAPPY..When I can be MISERABLE?!? |
Have no commitment and no compatibility: If you are aiming for a premature break up, make sure there is no physical-energy compatibility, emotional compatibility, intellectual compatibility, financial or social compatibility and spiritual compatibility.Also drop your commitment to be happy. Know that happiness is your nature, but sadness is your habit. Practice being sad and miserable and discontent for no reason at all. Be very difficult to please. Train yourself to find faults and blame and complain about anything and everything possible.
Culture the 6 distortions of love: You can indulge in any one or a combination of them to trigger your breakup – Kama, Krodha, Lobha, Moha, Mada and Matsar.
Kaam – Lust
Libido mismatch, insensitivity to each others’ bio-rhythms or emo-rhythms (supplemented by non-
communication)
Krodha – Anger
Anger removes awareness. Cultivate some severe anger-management issues.
Anger and alcohol are also closely related. In a drunk state, you may not be in control of what you say or do. So drink away to glory.
Lobha – Greed
Greed is easy and unlimited; a disproportionate desire for money or objects, power or fame. A sense of insecurity comes when we take more than what we give. So keep taking, and aim be a leech or a parasite.
Moha – Attachment and Possessiveness
Everyone loves their freedom, it is their birthright. Snatch it from them; control every single moment or interactions of your partner, which will cause suffocation and smother your relationship in no time.
Mada – Ego and arrogance
Pampering someone is love, but pampering someone’s ego beyond a limit is sheer pain. Also ego hampers communication and promotes separation. As one girl lamented – When I married Mr Right, I didn’t know his first name was ‘Always’! Make sure in every argument and fight, you are right and the other person is obviously wrong
Matsar – Envy.
Envy will make you feel a sense of lack in you and will hook you up with sustained suspicion. Feel everyone else is more beautiful, more charming, more talented than you. Be suspicious about where your partner goes, what they do, who are are looking at, who they are texting, who they are thinking about… You go ahead and express it vehemently more often, and you are bound to succeed in breaking up, within yourself and with your partner.
Remember 3 things that affect your mind. Food, Association (the company we keep) and the places we frequent:
The people and places you associate with and frequent will affect your attitudes and behaviours and can cause tension in your relationship. So associating with the unscrupulous kind and nefarious places will soon ensure a breaking news featuring your break-up.
Non-Veg food will cause inertia and pain at the physical level, also, subtle and irrational fears and sadness at the emotional level. Non-Veg also stinks up the body, because the heavy-to-digest meat putrefies in the stomach and the stench emanates from the skin all over the body. How long can heavy hitting Deos cover up the subtle axe-effect which axes your affair.
Alcohol will make you lose your awareness and spark off aggression and anger. Besides the stink and the puke factor, or the hangovers can catalyse conflict.
Cigarette makes one impotent and will make it a wee bit difficult to keep a relationship going. Besides it hastens death, and will lead to an ultimate break up 
Coffee has a lovely aroma, but causes severe body odour (I have it on the best of chiropractors and masseurs). Onions and Garlic can make a kiss kiss (Keep It Severely Short). In short, be a carnivore, enjoy onions, garlic and your coffee breaks, and definitely booze and smoke up.
Trample on a man’s ego and ridicule the woman’s feelings. A woman who doesn’t boost a man’s ego and a man who makes fun of a woman’s feelings will soon find himself unhinged and unhooked.
Focus only on each other with no bigger goals: Don’t be a James Bond or an Indiana Jones. Because when you are one of those, your priority and mission is to save the country or the planet. Hence saving a relationship gets included as part of it. So be a Laila-Majnu, Heer-Ranjha, Romeo-Juliet and focus only on each other with hardly any creative pursuits or greater goals so that your love story ends up a sopping tragedy.
When our world is as small like a bucket or a well, even a small rock can cause a tsunami. But when it is as vast as the ocean, even the fall of a mountain may go unnoticed. But when our world becomes bigger, individual short-comings and idiosyncrasies get automatically accommodated. So, keep your world small, tiny, petite, puny… you get the idea?!
Lastly, don’t learn or practice the A in a relationship. Awareness.
Without awareness, a break up can happen by simply not putting the toilet seat down or consistently not doing the dishes, or general sloppiness around the house, or plain vanilla boredom with each other.
Since love is in paying attention to the smallest details; overlook or be indifferent to all of them and simply disregard all the small little things your partner does.Culture a life without acknowledging the good, appreciating, understanding, empathy, kindness, a sense of service, and attitude of giving, caring and sharing so that you can enjoy the feeling of aimlessly drifting on the ocean of life and seeing how swiftly your relation-ship sinks.
